“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
-Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"
Fear is an integral part of the human psyche. It helps us gauge the dangers of the world around us. Without fear, our ancestors likely wouldn't have survived in a world teeming with dangers. Fear is a powerful tool, but it doesn't always have a positive effect.
Fear can be defined as our emotional response to a situation that presents a certain level of risk. Risk calculates the magnitude of consequences related to a certain outcome. So, our fear is directly correlated to how much risk we perceive.
Take a moment to look at the following words and tell me what they represent to you:
What If?
Do these words evoke a sense of anxiety in you? Do you often think, "What if it doesn't work?" - "What if exercise gets me hurt?" - "What if my business idea fails?" If you're worried about failure, pain, or adverse consequences, I have some relieving words for you:
It might.
Yes, it might. Your fears might actually come true, and I won't lie to you from another screen and tell you it'll all be fine. We have no way to really know. But this is what we do know:
I can guarantee your business won't work if you never try. I can guarantee you will be fragile and unhealthy later in life if you avoid exercise altogether. I can guarantee failure if you never try. Make no mistake: "If you never try, then you never fail" is wildly untrue. In fact, the farthest thing from success isn't failure; it's idleness.
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This is where guidance from others comes in. God gave us an interesting dichotomy when it comes to situational awareness. It's often difficult for us to gauge risk in our own lives, but it's much easier with a trusted friend. My wife, the most likable person I've ever met, sometimes worries about how others will see her. (She recently completed med school and is in residency, so she works with lots of new people very often). As it turns out, those people end up liking her. While this sometimes surprises her, I expected it because I clearly understand who she is. Likewise, she sees me and my life through a much more transparent lens than I do.
In an age of comfort and security, our minds have created new fears for situations where they don't belong. Our sensitivity to fear increases, and we often worry ourselves into complacency and avoid taking action at all.
Fear can be a valuable caution flag or a mountain we must conquer. It is up to us (with the help of those closest to us) to discern them from one another.
Sure, there is a chance you won't make it up that mountain, and you'll be worse off than before you climbed it. But there is risk in some things, most things, nearly EVERYTHING we do. Life wouldn't be remarkable if it were finite, and the peak of our mountain is made beautiful by the climb needed to get there. It is not the achievement that carries value but the work it takes to get there. There is no reward without risk.
In conclusion, let's revisit risk as defined earlier in the blog. Risk is the magnitude of consequences associated with the outcomes of a given action. Consequences aren't inherently bad either—they're just results.
Fear is still integral. So, please note that this is not permission to do something you aren't ready for because risk is inherently good. Please be reasonable.
But, with the help of a good friend, we can begin to tackle risks at the proper pace and find good consequences in our actions. So, when the time is right, ask yourself *What if* once more. Only this time, not what if you fail, not what if your endeavor is fruitless, but instead…
What if it works?
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"Don't take life too serious, no one makes it out alive..."
But be responsible